If you're struggling with compulsive sexual behaviours or pornography use, chances are you’ve felt alone, overwhelmed, confused, and ashamed at times. You might ask yourself, Do I have a problem? Why can’t I stop? or What’s wrong with me? The types of pornography you watch might be changing or escalating, leaving you feeling concerned as to why.

But here’s the truth: you are not alone, and freedom is possible.

Sexual compulsion and addiction are more common than many realise, and they can affect anyone—regardless of age, gender, background, or relationship status. These behaviours often develop due to opportunity and availability of the internet or as coping mechanisms for stress, trauma, loneliness, or unresolved emotional pain. And while they might offer temporary relief, they can lead to lasting harm—damaging your relationships, self-esteem, work life, and even your sexual template. Acknowledging the problem is not a sign of weakness—it’s a powerful act of courage. And it’s the first step toward reclaiming your life.

Understanding the Shame Cycle

Shame is one of the most painful aspects of addiction. It keeps people stuck in loneliness and silence, afraid to reach out for help or speak openly about their struggles. Shame tells you that you are bad, broken, or beyond help.

But shame lies.

What you’re experiencing is not a moral failure—it’s a pattern of behaviour that your brain has learned over time, often as a way to manage emotional pain. Once you understand the neuroscience of addiction, it becomes easier to untangle this cycle and begin to understand how you got there.

In counselling, we work together to separate who you are from what you’re struggling with. You are not your addiction. You are a person worthy of compassion, clarity, and change.

Why You Might Feel Stuck

Addictions might feel automatic, and with the availability of the internet the 'preparation phase' in a pornography or sex addiction can feel pretty instant. But part of my work is to help my clients to recognise:

1. Triggers: You feel stress, boredom, loneliness, or anxiety.

2. Urge: The compulsion or craving arises as a way to distract, soothe, or escape.

3. Action: You engage in the behaviour, often impulsively.

4. Shame: Afterward, you feel guilt, regret, or self-disgust.

5. Repetition: Shame becomes a trigger itself, starting the cycle again.

What Healing Can Look Like

In my practice, I offer a compassionate, structured approach designed to meet you where you are and help you move forward.. Together, we explore the roots of your behaviour and develop a recovery plan tailored to your needs.

Key areas of focus include:

• Understanding your history and emotional triggers

• Reducing shame and developing self-compassion

• Learning how addiction forms and how the brain reinforces it

• Creating a personalised plan for recovery and relapse prevention

• Building healthy coping strategies to replace compulsive behaviours

• Repairing relationships and rebuilding trust

You don’t have to do this alone. In fact, connection is often the very thing that begins the healing process. When you’re supported, seen, and understood, real transformation can happen.

Seeking Support

Whether you’ve just started questioning your behaviour or have been struggling for years, there is hope. Healing from sexual compulsions is not about perfection—it’s about progress. It’s about becoming more aware, more grounded, and more connected to yourself and others.

If this resonates with you, please get in touch. Together, we can explore your story, reduce the burden of shame, and begin finding the freedom of recovery.

You are not broken. You are not alone. You are worthy of healing.